If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
NoShamevember. You game?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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