I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
