he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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