So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
