he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
