Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
