Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
