you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
