i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
