I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
