they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
