I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
