butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
