Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
