she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It was confusing and full of hummus
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
