The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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