There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
