But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
