she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
