This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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