What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
