No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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