Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
