He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
