Define "chronic" masturbator.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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