He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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