I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
