Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
