we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We left the knife in your bed.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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