in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
