Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
