ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize