I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize