In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
