btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
