Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
