Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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