I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
