if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
