No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
