I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
