I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
