Heybabeimwearingurpanties
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
