Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
