And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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