He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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