Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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