nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
