i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
