um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.