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• (850): View more from Florida

  come over anyways, right now, right this second

  (850): View more from Florida

  it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying

  (561): View more from Florida

  wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation

  Fav 28 1179 3381

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.

  Fav 23 5234 1265

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card

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• (469): View more from Texas

  On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.

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• (562): View more from California

  Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think that about sums it up, actually.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.

  Fav 1 1272 500

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can

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