So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
In America we eat man semen.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
