My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship