Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize