I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize