The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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