these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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