yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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