You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
