Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
