the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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