Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
