y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
