Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
false alarm. still invincible.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
