I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
