hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
